How to Love and Accept Yourself Where You Are Right Now

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Manifestation & Surrender

Manifestation has become a huge buzzword over the last few years but where many miss the mark is by forgetting to love and accept yourself for where you are right now even though that’s not where you want to be or ultimately end up.

But why is learning to love and accept ourselves for where we are now so important? 

We live in a society that expects instant gratification in every area of our lives thanks to Amazon’s free two-day shipping along with being able to reach practically anyone at any time due to social media and cell phones.

As a society, we also unconsciously learn that productivity and action is the key to success. 

We have been constantly praised by our parents, our bosses, and our peers throughout our lives for always doing more and being on the go.

So, learning to slow down and just “be” with where we’re at right now is often the most difficult for many people, myself included.

This has jaded us in terms of manifestation because we also expect instant gratification and overnight change and success.

When we set the desired outcome, we expect to just leap from Point A to Point B, but that’s not how that generally works for most of us.

During manifestation, there’s a transition period based on what you’re manifesting as you shed your old self and step into your new self and reality.

This can bring up many uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that most of us would prefer to avoid.

Regulating our emotions and learning how to love ourselves is not something that is taught in schools or by most parents or caregivers.

Related Reads:
• 30 Ways to Practice Self-Love
• 7 Cozy Self-Care Rituals Just For You

The Stage of Surrender

Therefore, learning to accept and love yourself for where you are at this current moment is the most important of all. This is the stage often called “surrender”.

I remember when I first learned the word surrender and it sounded so scary!

Since then, I’ve learned more about what surrender truly means. It’s not all about just letting go and waiting for the Universe to do its thing.

Surrender is a combination of following our intuition and taking inspired action to become the future self we are manifesting mixed with learning to slow down and love ourselves for who we are now.

When it comes to manifestation, we never know when what we’re calling into our lives will actually happen. So learning to enjoy life now is the best thing we can do for our present and future selves. 

I have been healing autoimmune disease (lupus), ADHD, anxiety, an eating disorder, and C-PTSD over the last few years. Learning to let go and surrender did not come easy to me at first. It’s still a practice I continually navigate and improve upon through my daily habits.

This is why I want to share some of those habits and mindset shifts that have helped me throughout my own journey, and I trust that they will help you as well.

4 Steps to Loving & Accepting the Current You

1. Learning to Accept ALL Your Emotions

Many of us were not taught how to deal with our emotions, especially the more “negative” ones including anger, fear, anxiety, and sadness.

Part of learning to love ourselves includes loving these parts of ourselves that we’ve rejected throughout our lives in order to fit in or feel accepted. This practice called shadow work teaches us to integrate and love these neglected and repressed parts of ourselves.

When you’ve avoided these emotions most of your life, awakening to your emotions can be overwhelming at times. I recommend finding support from a therapist or coach who practices more than just talk therapy and helps you connect to your body where your emotions are stored at. 

The goal of awakening and accepting all your emotions is to find ways to let whatever you’re feeling out instead of holding it inside.

As you begin to release what you’ve been carrying, things in your life will start to change for the better ultimately even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

When I started doing this process, I realized I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t truly love me and was emotionally unavailable.

As I began to heal, I had to make the decision to leave him because he was resistant to change. That process took place over many months as I realized that we were never right for each other to begin with.

I understand my worth and know I deserve a partner who wants to accept all of me as I’ve done for myself.

2. Learning to Be in the Present

Most of us live with one foot in the future and one foot in the past, never learning to be truly present and grounded with where we’re at.

Grounding is a concept that I was never taught in my life until I decided to go to an ayahuasca retreat and realized that while on the psychedelic plant medicine.

Grounding practices include getting outside for a walk or a hike, journaling about how you’re feeling right now, talking to a therapist or coach, taking an Epsom salt bath, cooking a delicious meal for yourself, doing a grounding meditation, or practicing yoga or another form of movement.

These are all ways to help you care and love yourself as you are now because your current self is just as important as the future self you’re stepping into.

3. Expressing Gratitude for Your Current Self & Situation 

Gratitude is a practice that doesn’t come naturally to many of us.

Our brains are wired to focus on the negative instead of the positive.

If you’re not sure where to begin with, gratitude, start with writing out five things you’re grateful for every day or buy a specific gratitude journal!

If you’re having trouble finding things to be grateful for, find the things you may overlook as having a home, having a warm cup of coffee, or simply being alive.

Gratitude may feel uncomfortable but keep going with it and you will see breakthroughs!

4. Accepting Responsibility for Your Current Situation

We often forget that we are in charge of our bodies, our thoughts, our emotions, our finances, and our relationships.

We have the power to co-create our realities with the Universe or Source but often in this waiting period, we can feel like a victim to our circumstances when we’re just waiting.

The Universe often puts tests or lessons in our way which can make it seem like the manifestation is not actually coming.

When this happens, it’s generally because we are overlooking how important accepting our current self is.

By learning to accept where you are, you then have the power to change. This is the paradox of change.

Changing includes figuring out where you’re truly at, figuring out where you want to be then mapping out a plan to get you from Point A to Point B.

Final Thoughts

Overall, manifestation is not about sitting back and staying in your comfort zone while waiting for what you want to come to you.

Manifestation is an active practice where you take bold and consistent action to change your life for the better.

Are you trying to manifest a new relationship? As you wait, how can you show yourself more love in the process until your new partner shows up?

Are you trying to manifest more money? What will the money bring to you? Money typically brings a feeling of freedom. How can you bring more freedom into your life now?

Many of us want to be saved by another person, money, or a situation but that will not save us until we learn to save ourselves.