How to Say No and Stop Overcommitting Yourself

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Do you struggle with how to say no?

Do you often feel like you are burning the candle at both ends?

Is burnout something you struggle with?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you may be finding yourself overcommitting to things that don’t really light you up.

Overcommitting yourself is an easy thing to do, and you may even fall into it by accident. It is human nature to be a people pleaser and to want others to like you; however, it is not worth it if your mental health is at stake.

Once you are able to stop overcommitting yourself, you will feel more in control of your life.

Here are some ways to help you accomplish this! 

How to Say No and Stop Overcommitting Yourself

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1. Never give an immediate yes or no answer

When someone asks you to do something, attend an event, etc., try to refrain from giving an immediate yes or no.

In situations like this, especially when they occur in person, it is so easy to act on impulse. You might feel stress or pressure from the confrontation and excitement from the other person, especially if it is someone you care about.

Instead of answering immediately, take some time to think it through.

Thank them for asking and say you will get back to them by tomorrow.

This will allow you some time to think through any logistics, and it will prevent you from regretting giving an answer right away.

2. If it isn’t a “heck yes!”, it’s a no

Sure, there are many times in life when you have to do something that you don’t particularly want to do. There are also times when you have a choice, and this is when you use the “heck yes!” method.

If an opportunity doesn’t get you excited, then it is probably a no.

For example, if you are asked to travel to speak at a conference and all you can think about is how you don’t want to leave your family, then that opportunity is probably a no.

However, if the thought of speaking to a large crowd of people makes you feel giddy, then do it! If you feel indifferent about the opportunity, then it is probably a no. 

3. Block off time for self-care in your calendar

Self-care is probably one of the most productive things you could be doing, and yet it always seems to be the thing that gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list.

When you overcommit yourself, self-care might be nonexistent. 

In order to prevent this, block off intentional time in your calendar for self-care.

This is scheduled so that no other commitments can take away that time.

Treat this calendar event like a meeting, and don’t allow anything else to get in the way of making it happen.

Related Reads:

• 8 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable
• 10 Reasons Why You’re Mentally Burned Out

4. Remember that when you say yes to something, you are automatically saying no to something else

Time is precious, and it can only be spent one way at a time (unless you are multitasking, which isn’t really productive).

When you are saying yes to spending your time one way, you are saying no to spending your time another way. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

When you are saying yes to an evening meeting, you are saying no to family time. When you are saying yes to a day off, you are saying no to your work for the day. When you are saying yes to watching tv late at night, you are saying no to getting 8 hours of sleep.

Think about what you are saying yes to and if that is more important than what you are saying no to.

5. Make a list of your priorities

When you clearly lay out your priorities for yourself, it will help you make decisions.

Knowing your priorities will help you figure out what you say yes to and what is not worthy of your time and attention.

Is the opportunity lining up with your priorities, or is it pulling you away from them?

Your priorities might look like self-care, family, friends, your business, and travel.

You might value travel, but if it takes you away from your family for two weeks, then that opportunity could be a no. However, if you have the ability to bring your family with you, then it could be a yes!

6. Lay out your terms and set your boundaries if you do say yes

If you choose to say yes to an opportunity (after mulling over it for a day or so, of course), be sure to lay out any terms or boundaries you have.

It is important that both parties understand these terms and boundaries. You don’t necessarily explain why you have them, but you should be clear in your expectations.

For example, have specific start and end times laid out. If you agree to do a Zoom call, you don’t want to be stuck hours later than you expected to be just because you did not set an end time.

If you only agree to travel as long as your family can come with you, then make that clear too.

If your terms or boundaries are not accepted by the other person, then that opportunity is a no for you and it saves you the trouble of any misunderstandings.

7. Have set working hours for yourself

If you are working from when you first wake up until you fall asleep, then overcommitting yourself is inevitable.

That is not a normal schedule!

Your mornings and evenings should be sacred and meant for other things in your life besides work.

Set working hours for yourself, and only say yes to work opportunities if they fit within those work hours.

You also could overcommit yourself in areas other than work for things like friend meetups, family events, etc., so be aware of that.

Setting working hours is a start and can help you set boundaries for that area of your life.

8. Schedule in time for errands and any necessary housework

Just as you should schedule in your self-care, you should schedule in things like errands and house work.

Why? These are other things that easily get pushed aside when in reality, they are necessary.

Do you find yourself not having time for things like going grocery shopping, so you end up ordering takeout every night? We have all been there.

Schedule in time for laundry, doing dishes, grocery shopping, meal prepping, and cleaning.

This will be a good break in the day and will ensure that these little things get done.

Final Thoughts

In our hustle culture, overcommitting yourself is almost the norm.

Busy seems to be a badge of honor people wear, and slowing down does not come naturally to most.

However, if you follow these tips above, then you will feel more in control of your life and find it easier to slow down.

You are worthy of being the driver of your own life, and no one else can write your story for you.

Stop overcommitting yourself and start living the life that you deserve!