This post may contain affiliate links, which means Iāll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.
Has anyone ever asked you if you are self-sabotaging yourself?
When it comes to making progress on our goals we are often our own worse enemies.
That is because we tend to self-sabotage ourselves sometimes without even realizing it.
In this post, you will learn what self-sabotage is, how to recognize it, and a few tips on how to stop self-sabotaging yourself.
Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is when your own thoughts and actions are holding you back from your goals and success.
Self-sabotaging can increase your anxiety and you can overwhelm yourself very easily.
You are the one responsible for your life no one else. You are the one that has to control your thoughts and actions in order to reach your desired dreams.
Signs of Self-Sabotage
You may not recognize the signs of self-sabotage because quite honestly you might not know what to look for.
But, once you know what to look for then you can work on improving on it.
Here are some signs of self-sabotage.
Procrastination
Do you find yourself over planning and, writing a ton of stuff on your to-do list but not actually accomplishing anything on that list.
Planning can be known as a procrastination tool.
I know I do this all the time I write so many things on my to-do list and don’t actually take action because I don’t know where to start so I procrastinate as long as I could without taking actual action and just starting.
This leads to a lot of wasted time.
Tip on how to overcome procrastination: Create mini-deadlines for yourself so it puts an urgency on when things need to be completed.
Lack of consistency
You ever heard that quote, “Consistency is the key to success”.
Well, they ain’t lying!
If you continuously lack consistency you will find it difficult to make progress.
Consistency leads to habits, the habits form the actions we take every day, and then the actions lead to success.
For example, let’s say you want to lose weight.
So, you consistently eat healthily and go to the gym every day for 2 months. You see a change in your health and weight after staying consistent for so long.
But, after two months you stop eating healthy and quit the gym.
What happens?
All that progress is lost and you gain all the weight back.
But, if you continued to stay consistent you would have continued losing weight and feel healthier as the days go by,
Tip on how to be consistent: Set a goal, make a plan, show up, repeat (simple as that)
Fear of failure
You may have the fear of failing so you avoid even trying.
Failure is part of success.
Ask any successful entrepreneur if they ever failed…. I bet you that they say YES.
It is important to remember to learn the lessons from failing and not to give up!
Fear and failure are all part of the process. All it takes is just one success to make it all worth it.
Tip for overcoming fear: Don’t imagine the worst-case scenario but train your mind to visualize the best-case scenario instead.
Related Reads:
- 10 Habits of People Who Are Always Productive
- 5 Ways to Stay Focused on Your Goals
- 8 Ways to Have a Healthier Relationship with Social Media
Doubting Yourself
Do you constantly have self-limiting thoughts about yourself?
Like…
Do you feel like you don’t deserve good things
You think you aren’t smart enough
Constantly tell yourself you can’t do anything
You will never be successful
Shift those thoughts and that mindset right now!
What you think, you become!
Tip for overcoming self-doubt: Every day write 3 things that you love about yourself. Really take the time to show gratitude to yourself and feel how amazing you are.
Perfectionism
Do you want everything to be perfect all the time? Your work, your relationships, pictures, social media, and yourself?
Well, perfection is impossible.
This was the biggest sign that I was self-sabotaging myself.
Why you may ask?
Well, it took me 1 year to launch my blog even after I bought the host and domain.
I was constantly trying to make everything perfect from the fonts to the colors, to the layouts, and pictures.
I was spending hours and hours researching and learning everything I can about blogging over and over.
Even when I had the basic knowledge about blogging to get started, I kept finding ways to not start saying things like well, my writing skills aren’t perfect no one will read this, or the blog categories aren’t perfect so I can’t make it live yet.
And guess what?
Even after launching it still isn’t perfect!! And I don’t think it will ever be because I realize it is not possible to be perfect.
But, I am grateful I realize how much I was self-sabotaging myself by trying to be perfect because now that the blog is launched I am learning and growing and enjoying it more and more every day.
Tip for perfectionism: Just start! You can always adapt and change over time as we as humans are always adapting.
More signs of self-sabotage:
- Blaming Others
- Quitting too soon
- Negativity
- Comparing Yourself to Others
As you can see, there are many ways you can self-sabotage yourself and they can all tie in together.
More Tips on How to Overcome Self-Sabotage
- Practice mindfulness to self-reflect and improve your awareness
- Start journaling to keep track of your behavior patterns, emotions, and triggers
- Make small meaningful changes every single day to improve yourself
- Listen to motivational podcasts and YouTube videos to help strengthen your mind
- Set small attainable goals that way you don’t overwhelm yourself
- Practice self-care daily to refresh your mind
Over at the INLP Center, they have a great article and video explaining their AHA Process to End Self-Sabotage. It’s amazing and full of information so definitely recommend you to check it out!
Final Thoughts
I hope you have a better understanding of what’s been holding you back for so long (hint: it might be yourself).
The journey to recognizing and stopping self-sabotage isn’t easy.
You have to really reflect on yourself, become self-aware, and notice the signs of self-sabotaging.
You have to be willing to accept that you are self-sabotaging and make a plan to overcome it.
Don’t expect it to be an overnight fix.
This is something that you will have to work on every day.
YOU…
are capable of anything.
are worthy.
can overcome this.
not flawed.
are work in progress.
Michelle Gagliani
Owner & Founder
Michelle is the Founder of The Balanced CEO and a Holistic Nutritionist + Health Coach. She was born and raised in St.Thomas, U.S.V.I., and is currently living in Austin, TX. When she’s not running this blog and online business, she is cozied up at home watching TV, taking long walks in nature, or trying out new healthy recipes.
I love the Denzel Washington quote! It makes so much sense. And we are all works in progress for sure.
Thanks Brooke!
This was a very helpful post. I always have to remind myself that I am a work in progress and no one is perfect. If you fall off just get back up again!
-Tracy
Find Your Dazzle
Exactly Tracy! I am so happy you found it helpful! ?
Great post! I definitely needed to hear that over planning is a form of procrastination. I make lists for everything lol. Thanks for sharing!!
lol I know how that is! Thanks for reading Sarah!
Very powerful quotes and true statements. Perfection IS impossible.
Thank you Taylor!! ?
Great post! Everyone of us at one time or another suffers from self-doubt.. thank you for sharing your thoughts and suggestions to improve our self-image
Thank you Holly! ā¤ļø
Awesome read! Sooo important, yet self sabotaging is something we all do at some point or another.
Agreed Alexis. Thank you for reading! ?
I have some friends like this and I have to limit my time around them. After working as a manager I realized I was starting to think like some of the people at work too. It sneaks in and I refuse to allow these kinds of thoughts in my head. Great post!
That is amazing that you fight those thoughts Tricia. Great job. Sometimes it is best to just excuse yourself from people like that. Thank you for sharing and reading! ?
I have an ongoing to-do list. When I think of something new that I need to do, it goes on the list. Each day I work my way through as much of the list as I can manage. I also don’t necessarily complete every task as some things are big projects. Those types of things I work on for an hour and then move it back to the bottom of the list, so I cycle my way through my to-do list and get everything done. I find it helps to break the larger tasks up this way.
That is very interesting Sabrina. Thank you for sharing!!
This is great! I struggle with perfectionism myself. I try to remind myself not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. āDoneā is better than āperfectā!
Yes Maggie! Love that quote!
Planning as procrastination–GUILTY! Thanks for this helpful post!
Anytime Annie! ? Thank you!
Great list! I can relate to the writing of the lists. LOL
LOL. Thanks Heather!
I have done a much better job of not quitting on myself during this pandemic. I have taken the time to really decide what I want from myself and so far I have been able to stick to my workouts and writing plan.
So happy to hear the pandemic didn’t get you down Charlene. ? Thank you for sharing and inspiring others!
Ugh. So many of these apply to me on this list. Perfectionism (check). Fear of failure (check). Self-doubt (check). But since acknowledging my struggles, I’ve gotten better at identifying when they strike. And once I notice them, mindfulness helps me beat them. š
That is awesome you have recognized them Chelsea and you know how to overcome it. Mindfulness is really a game-changer. Thank you so much for sharing.ā¤ļø
Love it! Mind over matter. You can do it!
Thanks Lisa!
Procrastination and I have a love-hate relationship. What’s more concerning is that I’m seeing it in my kids, so I have to get a handle on it.
Oh no! Good thing they have a mom like you to help them ?
I have really been struggling with procrastinating lately and I’m not sure why. I’m usually the type that loves checking things off of my to do list.
Hey Sara! Have you tried meditating or journaling to see where the limitation is coming from?
This is a great post with a lot of really great information. It is amazing how many people self sabotage and do not see it at all.
I agree Cindy! I was once guilty of it too. I’m glad you enjoyed this post!
Iām in the midst of self doubt but Iām totally aware of it if so trying to work through it! Very timely post for me to read.
Hey Cas! That is great that you are self-aware and working through it. You got this!! ā¤ļø
Great post! We all travel most of these emotions or moments in our life!
Definitely!! Thanks Barbara!
Iām guilty of lacking consistency. Being home with two young toddlers makes it very difficult for me to follow any type of schedule.
Oh wow, I can only imagine Amy! It’s nice you can be home with your kids ?
Procrastination & self doubt are so me, thanks for the tips on how to overcome them.
Anytime Leeandra!! ?ā¤ļø
Awesome awesome post! I can relate to sooo many things on this list, unfortunately! Pinning it on my personal account as a reminder!
? Yay! So happy you enjoyed it and it helped Marianne!
Excellent post! Iāve been one who self sabotages with procrastination, negative self talk and even self imposed punishment. Itās a journey, moving out of these practices and into freedom and joy and greater self awareness. Itās so worth it.
Hey Cindy!! It is definitely a journey but yes I agree so worth it! ?
You’ve broken this down so well. Most of us don’t even realize we are doing this. Love the good buildable steps, that you’ve provided to keep us going in the right direction!
Thank you so much Debbie!!š
Practicing mindfulness is so important! We can be our own worst enemy, and it’s so important to stay in tune with ourselves!
Absolutely!!
I doubt myself a lot! I know I shouldn’t, so I am working hard to not doubt myself and be more confident in what I am doing
The good thing is you recognize it and working on it. Take it day by day, you got this Sydney!
These are great suggestions to stay on track!
Thanks April!
My husband and I are learning to be entrepreneurs & we’ve seen signs of self-sabotage in our house. Great article to read for us.
That is so awesome that you both are on the entrepreneurial journey together! Best of luck to you both! š
Yes!!! I need a list to accomplish things but I tend to get carried away and overwhelmed by the size of the list.
Hey Tiffany! I tend to do that at times too! š¤¦š»āāļø Picking 3 tasks at a time works for me if you ever want to try that š
Fake it ’till you make it! We all need to give ourselves a break.
Yes, definitely breaks are necessary!
I enjoyed reading your post. I have been retired for five years but agree with all you have said. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring post.
Thank you so much Christina! I hope you are enjoying retirement!
Planning as procrastination, I never though of it like that but now I see you can plan away but never take any of the steps. One thing I am actively trying not to do is compare myself to others.
Hey Elaina! I know the feeling of comparing as well. It is such a work in progress not to do that because it can put a damper on our goals and confidence!
Great topic and post. I see so many people self sabotaging themselves.
Thank you Tricia!
I think we all self-sabotage ourselves at some point or another, but donāt realize what we are doing. Thanks for the good wake-up read š
I agree Mikayla! Thank you for reading ā¤ļø
Perfectionism is one of the things that sometimes holds me back from moving forward. I’ve been learning to just put things out there and that they don’t have to be perfect.
Exactly Bonnie! Progress is better than perfection!š
What a great article! I unfortunately saw myself in a few of these points. Always room for self improvement!
Always Marianne š Thanks for reading!
Thanks for the reminder. While in my head I know these things, it is much more difficult to carry them out. It is so easy to revert to old thought patterns.
It sure is Sabrina. Step by step, day by day progress.
Great post to identifying self sabotage its such an easy trap to fall into!
Yes definitely! Thanks for reading Alyssa!
So I am guilty of basically every one of these! Thanks for the info.
Thanks Danielle!
Self doubt is always lurking…Each day we need to choose to be the best that we can be and that is all that we can daily do!
So so true Barbara! š
Great post. Itās also so important to remember that nothing ever comes instantly. Being hard on ourselves doesnāt help and we need to be able to encourage ourselves to achieve our goals!
I can’t agree more Justine! ā¤ļø
So true! Thanks for helping me identify even more subtle areas I didn’t realize I was self-sabotaging in. Over-planning has been my weak spot (analysis paralysis).
So glad you were able to find this post helpful Kristina. š
I think the most powerful tip I got from this post was to show up. Great post, so many wonderful takeaways.
Thank you Ayesha!!
I feel like this is so common anymore. Great tips for dealing with it!
Thanks Melissa!!
I never really thought of it as being self-sabotage. Great article!
Thank you Georgette!