How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

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Many people will critique you throughout life, and it’s hard to please everybody. However, it’s a different story when you are more judgmental toward yourself than anyone else. Negative self-talk is a pessimistic line of thinking that can affect your mental well-being and energy levels. It’s important to identify and combat the harmful habit as soon as possible. 

What Is Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk refers to personal thoughts that cast doubt over your worth and capabilities. Some people experience a constant stream of pessimism throughout their lives, which harms their mental health and saps their energy.

The source of negative self-talk is uncertain but is considered a symptom of anxiety and depression. People who struggle with impostor syndrome are more likely to have these kinds of thoughts, as well. Up to 82% of students and professionals experienced this phenomenon in 2020. 

Women may also be more susceptible to negative self-talk due to the impossible standards placed on them. Growing up thinking about how you have to be beautiful, thin, smart and more creates unreal expectations for yourself. When you lack those qualities, you start to question yourself.  

Tips to Deal With Negative Self-Talk

Overcoming negative self-talk is a non-linear process. You can make progress one day and get set back the next. Nevertheless, taking it one step at a time helps you grow out of this habit. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. 

1. Catch Your Intentions

Negative self-talk is an umbrella term for the various ways it manifests in your mind. Here are a few things to keep an eye out for:

• Compare: Sometimes, people have negative self-talk because they compare themselves or their lives with others. You may start to question why they have certain experiences or qualities and you don’t. Young people may get to the point of criticizing themselves for lacking certain aspects. 

• Counter: Negative self-talk also manifests in an impulsive reaction to oppose what you’re doing. For example, you try to eat better to improve your health. A little voice in your head would suggest you’re not worth caring about, derailing your efforts. 

• Criticize: Critical thinking occurs when you become too harsh on yourself. For example, say you make a mistake at work. People who deal with negative self-talk constantly question their abilities or fear doing things wrong throughout their careers. 

• Complain: Complaining is another version of negative self-talk where you hyperfixate on the bad things or situations in your life. Some people could have the perfect day until something goes wrong, and suddenly, that’s all they can think about. 

2. Identify Your Lows

Consider what is triggering your negative self-talk. Afterward, think of what action will bring you closer to your ideal self by focusing on the positive and living mindfully. Improving yourself builds up a new truth so negativity is no longer a reliable source. 

For instance, maybe your main source of frustration is a lack of creativity. Many great artists struggle with art or writer’s block. Rather than giving in to these thoughts, focus on creating one doodle or typing a sentence. 

3. Be Mindful 

You must learn to observe your thoughts. Even as you work on yourself, you may still have some counterintuitive thoughts lingering in your mind. Take time to reflect on your negative self-talk and look at the recurring patterns.

Journaling is also a great tool for improving mindfulness. Write down all the negative thoughts that you’re experiencing. Afterward, you can come back to them with a fresh mind and evaluate your feelings more rationally. 

4. Adopt Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations combat negative self-talk and change your habits. Look for uplifting phrases to act as a mental switch. Words as simple as “I am worthy and improving every single day” slowly shift your perspective.

Remember to pick positive affirmations that ring true to you. There are many references online to copy word for word, but you can also create your own pick-me-ups. It inadvertently trains you how to speak to yourself. 

5. Reevaluate and Challenge

Say you burned dinner and are upset about it. You start to tell yourself you’ll never make another great meal in your life. Follow it up with, “Really? Isn’t that an overgeneralization?”

Look at the situation and see what mistake ignited it. You can focus on avoiding it moving forward. Think back to other dishes that you excelled at making to remind yourself of your wins and move past the overgeneralization. 

6. Confide in Family and Friends

There’s only so much negative self-talk you can take before it starts pouring out of you. Avoid isolating yourself and turn to friends and family. They may give external validation, which is an eye-opener to who you are outside of your thoughts.

You can also temporarily set your worries aside and just spend time with your loved ones. Try to create questions to begin meaningful conversations with them as a break from your mind. It can be refreshing to push past the pessimism and enjoy being with people.

7. Process Your Emotions

Negative self-talk is a manifestation of your doubts and fears. Rather than pushing it aside, it’s helpful to process those emotions and accept that they are valid.

However, as you extend self-compassion to your feelings, your negative self-talk is still relatively untruthful. Putting yourself and your life down will only make you feel smaller than you truly are. 

8. Seek Help From a Professional

Negative self-talk is a difficult habit to get out of. Some people require the help of a mental health professional to get past it. More than 55 million American adults received counseling for their mental health in 2022. If you feel the same way, confide in someone you trust and work together to resolve it. 

Overcome Personal Negativity

Talking to yourself negatively only makes you feel bad about yourself when you should be building yourself up. Overcoming this habit takes time, but eventually, those thoughts hold less truth, and you’ll discover that you’re worth so much more. Invest energy into making these changes and you will be surprised by the difference.