How to Not Care What People Think About You

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Do you feel like you are held back the most by the opinions and thoughts of others?

The words that other people say can feel harsh and heavy, especially if they are not supportive of our hopes and dreams.

The natural human reaction to criticism or negative talk is to take it personally, feel hurt or defensive, and hesitate to move on.

However, if you truly want to lean into your purpose and find true happiness in your life, you must learn how to not care what other people think about you to some degree. This is no easy feat, no matter how old you are.

If you adopt some of the following tips, you will make the shift to just caring about what you think.

Besides, your opinion of yourself is really the only one that matters.

Understand your values and your truth

At the core of not caring what other people think about you is knowing and understanding who YOU are.

What is true about you?

Are you a nurturing mother, a successful entrepreneur, and a loyal friend?

Are you intelligent, driven, and passionate?

Do you believe in yourself and feel pride in your accomplishments?

Your values and your truth cannot be taken away from you. They cannot be altered based on the words other people say about you. They belong to you and are crafted by you and only you.

Think about what you value.

Do you value friendship, honesty, kindness, and communication? The more you strengthen and understand these values, the less affected you will be by others contradicting them.

Take some time to get quiet with yourself and understand your values and truth. You can journal on them and read through them whenever you feel discouraged.

Knowing your values and truth can also help you make tough decisions in business and in life.

Do the mindset work

If you have a strong, positive mindset, then it is harder for you to be affected by the words of others.

With a positive mindset, you are confident in yourself. You know yourself best. You can navigate hard decisions, and you know how to follow your own intuition.

The mindset work starts by acknowledging and working through any limiting beliefs you have.

Limiting beliefs include thinking you are too young/old to do something, you aren’t qualified, the market is too saturated, etc. 

Acknowledging and working through these will help you build a strong foundation for your mindset. Then, if someone hints at any of these limiting beliefs, you will have done the work to protect yourself from falling back into your negative mindset.

For example, if someone tells you that you won’t find success because the market is too saturated but at your core you know there is a seat for you at the table, then those words won’t mean anything to you.

You have to do the mindset work first and build that strong foundation.

Evaluate who these opinions and thoughts are coming from

We care a little bit more about what certain people think of us based on what they mean to us.

For example, a stranger on the internet not believing in you is nothing compared to a parent not believing in you.

When you are thinking about whose opinions to take into account, ask yourself the following questions:

Do I frequently take advice from this person?

Does this person have my best interests at heart?

Does this person often make me feel better about myself?

How well does this person truly know me and understand my values?

If you never take advice from this person, they don’t have your best interests at heart, they don’t make you feel good about yourself, and/or they don’t know you, then their opinion should be taken with a grain of salt. Their negative words could come from a selfish place or just a place of jealousy. 

If these people are on social media, don’t forget that you can unfollow, block, or mute them in order to protect yourself. Besides, people on social media only ever see part of your story.

If the person is someone you truly love and care about, it is much more difficult to not care what they think. You may have to start setting boundaries around this person. 

Related Read:
• 10 Ways to Stay Positive Around Negative People

Set boundaries if necessary

If the opinions and negative words come from someone close to you, then you cannot always just ignore the person.

However, you can set boundaries.

You are always allowed to set boundaries to protect yourself, your emotions, and your mindset.

Setting boundaries is easier than upholding them, so be sure to have a strong reason for each boundary that you set.

One example of a boundary is that you do not talk during the workday.

Another boundary could be that the subject of parenting, business, etc. is off-limits UNLESS they are speaking positively to you.

Boundaries can be difficult to set especially since you are not trying to hurt the other person, but putting those boundaries to use can be beneficial for both of you.

Explain your hopes, dreams, passions, and ideas

You should never have to explain yourself to someone else if you are following your heart.

However, some people may not be supportive of you simply because they don’t fully understand.

Take some time to explain to your loved ones why you do things the way you do. This will help them see your drive and passions, and those things should be important for them to see.

Fully express your passions and ideas in a way that they will understand. If they still don’t understand, that is okay too! It happens, and maybe you being happy will be enough for them. It is always worth trying to explain and let them in on your life.

If they choose not to support you, then that is when boundaries will be put into place.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, not caring what other people think about you is hard. There is no on/off switch, and it takes time.

If you fully know and love yourself for who you are, it will be easier for you to not worry so much about the opinions of others.

However, negative words from loved ones will always cut a little bit.

Set boundaries whenever necessary, and understand that your opinion is always the most important one in the room.