3 Common Misconceptions About Balanced Living

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Balance. A word often used in the wellness world. In order to be happy, they say, you must find balance. In order to be healthy, balance is key. 

But what exactly is balance? And is it actually achievable?

Today I’d like to share a few thoughts on what balance means to me. 

The Myth of Balance

Have you ever written the day off as a failure because you snoozed, didn’t have a healthy breakfast, or skipped yoga? You thought to yourself, “What’s the point? Today’s ruined; I’ll start again tomorrow.”

That right there is the myth of balance. Thinking that balance = perfection. That balance means that each day you must pay attention to all areas of life, and do them well. 

But that’s not how I like to look at things.

The truth is, I’m not sure that achieving balance is actually possible.

Time spent on one thing equals less time on another. That’s just basic math. You can’t magically make more time appear; there are only 24 hours. 

Sure, you could spend less time in front of the TV or scrolling on social media, but what about the days when that’s exactly what you need because you have zero energy, you’re ill, or you’re having a human day (because you’re not supernatural)?

The way I think of balance is that it’s all about the act of balancing, rather than the state of being balanced.  

You strive for balance, knowing you’ll never achieve a perfect balance. Because that would mean that your life is perfect. Not only is perfection is an unrealistic goal, but you’ll drive yourself into the ground trying to get it. 

When It’s Time to Recalibrate

Ever heard of the Circle of Life? You can find many versions of this online. Some call it the Life Wheel. I like to use this one by the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. 

It lists the main areas of our life that contribute to our well-being. The idea is to rate your satisfaction in each area by placing a dot on the line next to each area. The closer to the center, the least satisfied you are in that area of your life. For example:

In the above example, there’s low satisfaction in health but high satisfaction in social life. Once you have your dots, you draw a line to connect the dots, and you can see your circle of life.

If you feel out of whack or like something’s missing, you can do this exercise to assess which areas of your life might be too far out of balance… and recalibrate. Spend some time on those areas and see how much better you feel after.

Equally, if you’ve got a busy period coming up at work, you’ll have to accept that some other areas of your life will get left behind. That’s okay. You can come back to those later.

You won’t achieve a perfect 10 in all areas at the same time. That isn’t realistic. Give yourself some grace and try to live in tune with your internal seasons.

Because that’s what balance is all about; it’s a daily practice of evaluating your needs and what’s going on in your life right now, and recalibrating.

The “When This, Then That” Trap 

Ever felt guilty because you’ve been prioritizing work and neglecting personal relationships lately, and thought, “Once I’ve built my business up to the point where I can quit my job, then I can relax and I’ll achieve the perfect work-life balance?”.

Or maybe you’ve been wanting to take some time out and go on holiday but you think “I’ll get my body in shape first, then I’ll be beach ready”.

When we tell ourselves that when X happens then we will be able to do or be X, that’s just another way of striving for perfection. And we’re setting unrealistic expectations for the future instead of focusing on the here and now. 

Setting a new year’s resolution to go to the gym three times a week distracts you from the small steps you could be taking today to feel better physically.

And what happens when the new year rolls around and you didn’t go to the gym 3 times a week as planned? Most of us will just be hard on ourselves and probably quit the gym altogether. 

What about if you started to take small, decisive action now? Sign up for the gym now. Plan yourself a healthy dinner, even if you’ve eaten processed foods all week. Sign up for that course now, even though you don’t think you’re ready. 

Balance Isn’t a Bunch of Shoulds

Life is full of shoulds. We are told that to achieve balance we should work out more, we should eat better, and should go to bed early. 

“Should”s steal the joy from your life. They make you feel guilty for not doing enough and cause you to neglect the fun stuff you want to do.

And what happens when you don’t do the fun stuff you really want to do? Life gets boring!

The result? Your life is boring and it’s still unbalanced because you’ve neglected the fun bits.

Balance is the ebb and flow between full-on, productive days where I get lots done and laid-back days where I follow my heart’s desire.

Balance is listening to my body, so some weeks I know I can make it to the gym three times, and others, most evenings will be spent on the sofa with my favorite Netflix show.  

Sure, there are things we have to do, even though we don’t want to, but if you can eradicate as many “shoulds” from your life as possible, your mental health will thank you for it, and you’ll find balance is a lot easier than it’s made out to be. 

Let Go of Your Vision of What Balance Should Look Like

Do you dream of being a calm and smiley person with shiny hair who makes friends easily, never has arguments, is well respected at work, eats healthy, meditates daily, has a healthy social life and a clean, tidy home… and still has time for wholesome activities with your family?

It’s time to let go of the fantasy, friend! This isn’t what balance looks like; this is what perfection looks like. And guess what? Perfection is a myth!

Balance is waking up every morning and tuning in to your body and mind’s needs. 

Maybe you’d planned to write your newsletter today, but you’ve woken up tired and uninspired. It’s okay to decide to put it off until tomorrow and do some admin instead.

Maybe you have a lunch date with a friend but you’re feeling a little drained. Why not postpone the date and wipe the dust off that adult coloring book that’s in your drawer?

Or you might have started the day very productive, but by midday, you’re burning out. Know when it’s time to take a break.  

Balance is made up of consistency over time. It’s the accumulation of what you do over time, not what you don’t do.

You might skip your yoga class occasionally, but over the last year, you’ve attended more than you haven’t. That counts! The time you skip it do not cancel out the times you went. 

If you check out this dentist in Stockton, they’ll also tell you that it’s okay to sometimes miss your dental appointments. However, it’s important to reschedule so they can still check your dental situation and ensure it’s in good condition.

The steps we take to recalibrate when things are out of whack are what makeup balance in our life.  

Maybe this Summer you’ve been very social, partied a lot and spent a lot of energy outwards. So this Fall, you’ve decided to upgrade your indoor space and retreat inwards a little to recharge. 

Let go of the picture of a perfectly balanced life because life is messy. It’s full of ebbs and flows. It isn’t linear. Our needs change, the outside world changes, and the more adaptable we are to these changes, the more resilient we’ll become over time. 

Be Awake to the Myth of Balance

In a world that constantly pushes us forward, and expects us to have it all together, to make more money, have more things, and be productive members of society, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to do it all.

The word “balance” comes up often and we are made to feel like we aren’t good enough if we aren’t juggling every aspect of our lives with perfect skill. 

At the end of the day, nobody has to walk in your shoes.

When talking about your well-being, you are the only one who gets to define what that looks like.

I’ve told you what balance means to me. What does it mean to you?